Why I quit my job

The week before last, I quit my job. I did this because I came to the decision to live my life on my terms. To not wait on others, who don’t matter, to make the decisions that affect my life.
The company I’m leaving is outdated and slow to change. They’re not just slow to act on change, but they are too slow at recognising and accepting it. Change is something that happens to them, not something they drive. I’m not talking about change for changes sake, but innovation. Moving forward.

Move forward, yesterday happened.

Personally, I didn’t feel respected in my position and for what I had to offer the business beyond my job title. I had grandiose dreams for the future of the company and indeed my place within it. How we could move into different markets, build products and increase revenue. I wanted to become a joint owner, I had plans to give my life and run this business. I cared.

However, I was always treated as a child. I came into the company over five years ago as the youngest member, and with certain people being in and out, I remained the youngest for quite a while. The MD would violate my personal space, fringing on a me-too moment, and pinch my cheeks. It’s infantilising. How am I supposed to be respected when my boss sees and treats me like a toddler? My age doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about or that others have better ideas just because they’re older. An old car isn’t going to get you to your destination any better than a new car just because it’s experienced.

As the leader of my team, I never felt empowered because I was never invited to any management meetings. I wasn’t equal to the other “leaders”. Any information or decisions that were made in these meetings were drip-fed to me via others and whispers. The air of secrecy within the company borders on lunacy.

I shouldn’t have to beg to get what I deserve.

More broadly, the company doesn’t have a mission and I find myself in a place where I crave fulfilment in all I do. After all, I have the most fulfilling job of all. Being a father. It can’t be too much to ask for my work job to be fulfilling as well.
There’s a refusal to introspect, all the issues are from external forces if you ask the leadership. It baffles me the sheer lack of and avoidance of responsibility and accountability for the current position of the company.

The company tries to present itself as a family. I used to prescribe to this too, as it felt good to be a part of something. Now with the fullness of time, I see that this is a manipulation tactic and nothing short of toxic. Businesses are not families, your place of work is not your family. They are and should be communities. A community being a collection of individuals having or working towards a common goal or ideals. Using the word family is a form of control because you wouldn’t leave family, you wouldn’t ask family for money, etc, etc.

I am tired of coming home and complaining all the time about the ticky-tacky problems and difficulties that I face at work each day. My is wife tired of hearing it. I wouldn’t be in a position to quit my job without having another lined up without her supporting me, and I don’t mean financial, but morally. She’s enabled me to choose to live as my authentic self.

Having served my notice, I’m being treated differently. I have become a social pariah. It’s so weird. It’s also validating in my decision to leave because it’s petty and childish. I still have 3 months of work left at this place, they should be utilising me as a resource. They should be investigating why I decided to leave because until I handed in my notice I was “a valued member of the team”. Now that I’ve gone against the grain, I’m an outcast. I’m not asked any questions or opinions.

I can’t wait for the remainder of my time to finish.

All this said, I do truly hope for the best for the company and those that remain. I hope they can recognise the changes needed to make progress. Though with new blood coming in and the disruptors gone, they might just be starting a new chapter of the same story.

Honourable mentions. I asked for a salary increase around six weeks ago, which was declined. My salary hasn’t changed in over two years now unless you count in spending power thanks to inflation, and it hasn’t kept pace with the market. I could be bringing in more money with less responsibility and a better work-life balance. Win-win. Greater education opportunities. There is no one to learn from in my current role, so all of my development comes from within, and it’s difficult to know what path to take. Chance to work on better projects in more interesting industries.

I’m excited about the next chapter of my career.

Update: In my final weeks it was more normal again.