Chapter 31

I just turned 30, thus beginning chapter 31 of my life. (0-1yr is chapter 1)
I always get pensive around my birthdays, as it becomes a time to reflect on the past year and set the tone for the year ahead. Birthdays are the real New Years.
I never set myself goals that I want to achieve or anything like that. I would ultimately fall short anyway. It’s more of an exercise in overthinking. That’s just the internal pressure. I’ve got the external pressure of a “milestone” birthday, just because it’s a number with a 0 on the end it’s a bigger deal than the previous or subsequent years… I digress.

Over the last weeks, I’ve been thinking about what I want out of the next year, the next decade… my life. After nailing my 5-year plan back in 2020 (more on that here), well, 2021 if you want to be picky, I haven’t had any other overarching goals, a grand conclusion. Nothing, nada. I was supposed to come up with a new 5-year plan last year. Why? Because I said I would.
But the truth is, I just haven’t been able to commit to anything. I haven’t had a just cause to get behind and pursue.

My original 5-year plan, penned 7th Feb 2019, was supposed to span until the end of 2023, so I should give myself some slack, right?
I kept those goals super simple, short, and each item was transformative in its own right.

Become debt free
Become a parent
Become a homeowner

I was debt free before the end of 2019, I was a homeowner before the end of 2020 and my son was born the beginning of 2021. My life had thoroughly changed within the span of 2 years.

I’ve been aimless the last year or so, growing increasingly discontent with lack of direction or motion in my life.

Hi, quick interjection here. Just want to say that this excludes my family life. I love my wife and son. I couldn’t be happier with watching and being a part of growing and shaping a human.

Investing has become boring and stressful as the markets have entered a downturn, the dip continues to dip, but more on that another time. Work was tedious and unfulfilling, read more here. I’ve been to the gym and exercised frighteningly little in the last few years.

Around November, I was talking to a friend, and she said that her 30th was a deadline for change at work. Things either needed to improve or that’s it. I loved the idea, so I stole it and made it more aggressive. My 30th birthday minus my notice period, 3 months! Almost exactly 3 months before my birthday, I handed in my notice because nothing changed regardless of expressing concerns.

Next week I will start my new job. I should be excited, or at least that’s what I keep getting asked by people, but if I’m honest, I’m not. I’m a little worried that it will be more of the same. That I will get over the initial honeymoon period and then the bullshit will be revealed. I’ve sat with these thoughts for about a month now, and I’ve done my best to cast them out. I’m an optimist, so I will be optimistic about this. My new role and company sound great with what they have been presenting to me thus far. I’m not even a part of the company, and they have been more transparent with me than my previous role ever (img)was. Yes, it was good news that was shared, and I hope they are just as open with bad news as they are with the good, as that’s crucial for a healthy relationship. You need to take the bad with the good.

I’ve recently finished Atomic Habits by James Clear. I wholly recommend this book. Yes, some lessons and points could easily be summed up in a blog post which I’m not going to do here, but it all being put together it justifies the book’s existence.
I listened to it on Audible, and it was narrated by the author, which is great. This is something I want to action as soon as possible, I need to take habits seriously because habits are the atoms that build our behaviours. I recommend it to anyone who finds themselves dissatisfied or complaining a lot about their current circumstances. Stop complaining, make a plan, break it down and act.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I must start prioritising my health. This is where some of my habits will be geared towards and built around. I’m always achy, especially from my neck going down my back, it’s so tight and uncomfortable. I’ve been seeing an osteopath for the last couple of years, and it helps during that moment, but not long term. It’s so annoying. I just want to be comfortable, healthy, and strong, so I can be there for my child and family. Furthermore, to be able to do all the things I want to do. We only get one meat sack, best treat it right. That said, I have no idea what to do to solve this pain. What I do know is I need more regular exercise and need to get stronger.

I was thinking by the end of this blog post I will have divined a new 5-year plan, but no. I still don’t have one – divine intervention has not taken place. I want to avoid forcing myself into goals I will not achieve, I must stew longer. What I do know though is this will be the best decade yet of my life because everything that has happened so far tells me life gets better and better. This is the first decade of my life I’m beginning as an adult and I know more secrets of the universe than ever, so that could make for an interesting foundation to build upon.

I’m optimistic, which is something I wouldn’t have said 10 years ago.